Updated: Jan 22
The other day I pioneered a convo about the healing work in relationships. I shared a little of my story and everyone but one person in the room said that's "too much work". You see the minute I accepted myself as a healer I began to remind my partner, after we decided to separate, that he too was a Divine King! I polished his crown with intentional words of affirmation despite all the hell we had experienced! I don’t know if I want to do all that," they said openly and honestly. It has been a common question, “Why do I have to be the one to heal my partner?"
For me, I discovered the reward that comes with healing alongside my partner. It is not easy work nor is your partner one who needs fixing! Not by you at least! In my marriage, my ancestors reminded me, I am not touching one man's crown through my love. I am going all the way back to the boat when they took our kings from their position on the throne and made him work for a title he was already born with. I heard in meditation one day, "When you speak to him, see the King not the man you cant stand!"
The same applies in same sex partnerships! As many know I love my Kings but my entire being responds to the presence of a Queen! As women we are no different, our masculine and feminine energies balance in their own way. We all need a safe space to grow beyond the conditions we have all been raised in.
I love sharing the feminine with the masculine so each may restore their divine balance, strength and power. David Deda taught me more about the masculine mind in this book! Lauren London gave this book to Nipsey Hussle to read. Such a boss move! The masculine craves a divine nurturing feminine energy. Many men find this balance through sex as most women have adapted a masculine lifestyle. One needs the other to balance and create worlds! Many will feel they need sex as their bodies respond to how SHE soothes a space for HIM to relax be playful flowing and free. In the unconscious this shows up through infidelity and wandering eyes!
Everyone in the room frowned, "yeaaa no!"
So I ask why not? I believe this perspective could help the divine feminine relax into her being so that our masculine's may rise from good fruit! A toxic womb breads an enslaved community! Ultimately it’s not even about us being the ones to do the work of “healing” our partner. That was never your job in the first place! It’s healing ourselves so that we may be a safe space for love to evolve!
What does being the "healer" in a relationship mean for you?